_
Dor!
Oh, my God, you look so cute.
I love that dress.
- Hi, gorgeous. - Hi.
So, Porsh, I think this is a trap.
What?
I just... I feel like they know something
and that this is their twisted way of,
you know, catching us.
Dory, you really think
they would give us the key
to the city of Chappaqua,
not to praise us, but to disgrace us?
Babe, I think you're just being a wee bit paranoid, okay?
I think we should just be aware, okay?
- Hey. - Hey.
I'm so sorry. Marc's coming.
He said he wanted to support me, and I said "no,"
and he said "why," and I couldn't come up with a reason.
- That's okay, sweetie. - Hi
Hi.
- Are you gonna be hot? - Not at all.
I literally couldn't be more comfortable.
Eee! This is so exciting!
When I was little, it was, like, my dream
to be given the key to the city.
So, childhood-Marc is freaking out right now.
Marc, you will not be joining us on that stage,
and I don't want to have to repeat that again.
Oh! You guys, it's our car!
We have a "Dory," an "Elliott," a "Marc,"
- and a "Por-Tia"? - "Portia."
There should be a "Drew Gardner" on the list.
- No "Drew." - I guess he bailed.
Okay. I mean, that's fine.
Yeah.
You good? You have everybody?
Yes, we do. And could you turn the A/C up just a smidge?
Thank you.
- Synced and corrected by medvidecek007 - - www.addic7ed.com -
Ooh.
That surprised me.
Officer Hartman?
That's me. Call me "Joy."
- Are you my Mountie? - Sure am.
Quite a trek up from New York, isn't it?
Any excuse to get out of the city, you know?
And I've never visited Canada before, so...
You want to see a shallow grave?
- Yes, please. - All right.
The body was found stuffed disrespectfully
in a girly suitcase and buried over here.
He had, uh, blunt trauma to the head and a broken neck.
We scoured the area, didn't find much
except a couple of footprints heading nowhere.
We ran his prints and he came back as Keith Powell,
private investigator from New York.
He has a daughter and an ex-wife.
God, I hate telling the family.
- Yeah. - Anyways...
What is that?
Huh.
"Party Time Shovels."
- Huh. - We should do some research,
figure out where these Party Time Shovels are sold in the area.
Could help us figure out who killed Keith Powell.
I'm embarrassed we didn't find that.
Th-That's right there.
Welcome to the green room.
I know it's pink, but it's actually a green room.
Drew. Hey.
I didn't think you were coming.
How did you get here?
Um, yeah, no.
I'm, um, I'm here. So, hi.
Oh. You are not Drew?
- So, who are you? - No, I'm Marc.
So, you're not a hero?
Um, no, I'm not a hero.
Okay, you can't be here, then.
Let me find you a spot. Come with me.
All four heroes in the green room.
Escorting non-hero to the ballroom.
- ... be in here with you? - I would trust her.
- But, like... - Just go with her.
- I'll be with her. - Okay.
- Just... - We'll check back in...
- Okay. - ... after the...
So, sir, why don't you walk me through what happened?
Yeah, uh, I was out here, uh, making love with my wife,
and I look over and I see this new mound of dirt.
So, I said, "Excuse me, baby",
while I investigate that pile of dirt."
So, uh, sure enough, I find this, uh, man-hand,
and then this whole man with it.
Would you mind if I spoke with your wife sometime?
Oh, she's right here.
She's not much of a talker, but I'll introduce you.
Pine Tree...
this nice lady is Officer Hartman.
She's very pretty.
Oh, there they are... the heroes!
- Hi! - My, don't you all look spiffy.
- Hi. - Thank you.
Guys, it's overwhelming how
excited everyone is to meet you.
Oh, thank you so much for this.
This really is a once-in-a-lifetime
kind of thing... if that, even.
Well, you saved our little girl. You saved all of us.
- Aww. - Well, we'll leave you alone.
I'm sure they're almost ready for you.
- Mm-hmm. - Bye, guys.
I mean, come on. What was that?
- It was fine. It was fine! - Chantal was being so weird.
She's normally a blabbermouth... she didn't say a thing!
I know she's hiding something. I know it!
You left your hoodie in the car.
Okay.
And now, I would like to introduce
tonight's guest of honor,
the woman who will be presenting
the key to our heroes.
Chappaqua, please give...
Are you here as a friend or press?
I am, uh, writing a story on Chantal.
Oh. What's your angle going to be this time?
You think she's lying about what happened?
Kind of.
... the future state senator of New York, Mary Ferguson.
Thank you.
Wow. Thank you.
Whoa, Mary Ferguson... she's amazing.
- Ooh! It's the key. - I love Chappaqua.
Look, do you see it? It's the key.
I get to meet a lot of people doing what I do.
And I get to hear a lot of stories...
Stories that move me to tears.
There are people out there doing good
just for the sake of doing good.
They're just trying to do the right thing,
whether or not someone is watching.
You know, they say "Dance like no one is watching"?
Well, I say "Do good like no one is watching."
I call people like this "closet heroes."
And every now and then, we get to wheel them
out of hiding and celebrate them.
So, please welcome our heroes,
Elliott Goss, Portia Davenport,
Drew Gardner, and Dory Seif.
_
Say something, Dory.
How does it feel to be a hero?
Um...
This is such a big...
Key.
Uh, I don't know if I'll ever
find a door big enough for it.
Yeah, thank you.
Thank you.
God, that was the worst speech ever.
Yeah, I know, but...
Oh, thank you so much. Perfect timing.
Just try to have fun.
- So, how does it feel? - Hi, Agnes!
You know, speaking for both of us, it feels great.
- I find it a little disrespectful. - Mm-hmm.
I bend over backwards to make sure
Chantal has a roof over her head and a shoulder to cry on.
So where's my Goddamn key to Chappaqua?
- Yes. - Look at her.
Everyone thinks she's so brave
for hiding in a sketchy motel?
Please. You've seen my Aunt Noni's Montreal house.
It's a palace.
I should tell everyone what really happened.
No. No, no.
Agnes, you're not
really gonna do that, right?
It's, like, over and over again,
these guys let Chantal down,
and who's always there to wipe away her tears?
I hate that she does this.
I just do not see what she sees in Drew.
- No offense, Dory. - No, that's fine.
Oh, and can you please tell him I want my obelisk back?
I'm sorry, your what?
The obelisk? The award.
Aunt Noni's black-marble interior-design award.
Oh.
Chantal said she saw it in Drew's
apartment, and I need it back.
Oh.
Okay. Yeah, I'll, um,
I'll talk to him about that.
Okay, fine.
I need another cocktail.
It smells like my grandmother's house.
She was a hoarder.
It made it really hard to respect her.
Okay. I got a question for you.
What's that?
How does a man buy a train ticket,
park his car at the station,
leave his phone a thousand miles away,
but wind up here in Montreal three feet underground
next to a tree that people have sex with?
You know, I'm really just here to drive you around.
So, uh, just tell me when you want to get dinner.
I loved your speech.
Oh. Th-Thank you.
I see a really unusual power in you.
Wow. Um, that means so much to me,
especially coming from someone like you.
Can I ask... what is your lineage?
Um, m-my parents are from Iraq.
No kidding. I have almost gone there so many times.
Uh, excuse me.
Wow, I-I am so sorry to interrupt, Ms. Ferguson.
But I have been so inspired
by all that you've been able to accomplish.
And I just want to know...
Can I please shake your hand?
Absolutely. Thank you, young man.
- What is your name? - My name is Julian Marcus.
I'm a friend of Dory's, and also, a freelance writer.
I'm writing a piece on Chantal.
Wait, what?
I am never washing this hand again.
That would upset the Department of Health.
You're funny!
I was about to ask your friend
if she would consider working for my campaign.
We could use a heroic woman on my team.
- Me? - Yes, you.
Listen, you two... I don't have the patience for B.S. right now.
I have a goal to increase the diversity on my staff by 30%,
and you both seem pretty with it.
- Am I reading that right? - Uh, absolutely.
Okay. I'm gonna have Pamela
reach out and get the ball rolling.
- Excuse me, Mary? We need you. - Oh, I have to go.
But it was great meeting you...
Especially the hero.
Such a pleasure to meet you.
Wow. That was crazy.
So, um, you're writing a story on Chantal?
Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, also, that's what I've been wanting to talk to you about.
Since you were there, um...
Do you think Chantal was lying?
About what?
Just, her story isn't adding up.
I mean, Julian, she's obviously
been through so much, you know?
Obviously, things are gonna be a little,
you know, mixed up for her, probably.
Mmm, yeah, I don't think she's mixed up.
Well, you know, I, for one,
like to see the good in people.
Not everyone's a liar.
So, how long have you two been together?
- Oh, I'm gay. - We're boyfriends, actually.
Oh, that's a shame.
You two look so happy together.
I think it's admirable when people are gay.
It's good.
Yeah. Yeah, it's good.
Did you...
take the obelisk from the house in Montreal?
Yeah, well, I took care of it, all right?
- So, it's not your problem. - Why would you take it?
I don't know, Dory. Maybe because it's a murder weapon.
Well, now, Agnes is asking for it back.
Well...
I buried it in a field,
so she can't have it back.
Was that Chantal
in your apartment the other day?
Do you have feelings for her,
or are you just doing this to punish me?
Maybe it's just nice to be around
someone who really likes me.
I really like you, Drew.
- And I miss you. - Drew!
Come meet Meemaw Witherbottom.
- Hi, Dory. - Hi.
Come on.
I'm sorry.
And I remember
looking at you and thinking,
"Why is this kid ruining my daughter's wedding-dress day?"
Oh.
I hated you.
- Ohh. - I hated you so much.
Stop.
There's one thing, though, that I never figured out.
Linda, please.
Who's Keith?
Who's who?
When you came in to the
fitting at the dress shop,
you said there was some guy
who knew something about Chantal.
It's all you could talk about.
It was, "Keith, Keith, Keith, Keith, Keith."
What?
I'm actually not feeling so great.
I think it might be the pudding cups from before.
No. I had a lot of the pudding cups. They're fine.
Elliott, you look like you've seen a ghost.
Did they tell you about the ghost
who tickles you if you stay in suite 13?
It's there. Suite 13.
Linda, let's find you a floor to lie down on.
- Oh, I am talking, Robert. - Come on.
- I...
Elliott?
Marc, Marc, Marc, Marc, Marc, Marc.
- I have to take a shit right now. - Elliott, who the hell is Keith?
And don't tell me he's a conversion therapist again.
- Who is he? - Marc, he's no one, okay?
And she's just drunk. Just hold my drink.
It's an emergency. Hold my drink.
- Tell me who he is. - Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
I need you to tell me right now.
What is going on? Who is Keith?
I think... I think it's down the hall.
I think it's down the hall. I don't... Elliott.
- It's happening. - What?
It's happening right now.
I can't stop it. I'm shitting myself.
I just shit myself. I just shit myself.
- It's okay. - Oh, my God.
I'm gonna go to the gift shop while you wash up,
and I'm gonna do my best to find
something that matches your gloves.
Go, Marc, go.
I just don't understand what happened in,
like, the span of two minutes.
Like, one second, you're hugging my meemaw,
and the next you're breaking it off?
Like, what happened between then and now?
Nothing happened, okay?
It's just, this has been moving a little fast,
and I don't want to give you the wrong impression
that this is, like, a thing.
Well, maybe we can just, like,
take a step back, and, like...
and, like, take it a little slower?
I think that you're unbelievable.
I think you're an amazing person, Chantal.
I really do. It's not you. Don't...
If I'm an amazing person, then why?
Is it something I did?
Is it something I'm not doing?
What is it?
Why does this keep happening to me?!
I don't know what to tell you, except that I'm sorry.
Okay, I'm sorry!
I don't want to be alone anymore!
Guys, can we go? I think we've done our due diligence.
What happened to your pants?
It was always my intention to have
a partial wardrobe change, Portia.
Sorry.
They asked us to change on a P.A. system.
Wait! You guys are not leaving
until I can get a straight answer
about when I can expect the obelisk back.
The what?
Uh, the award. The obelisk-shaped award.
- Ohh. - Uh...
- Um... - Agnes,
- w-we-we're gonna... - Agnes, I'm sorry.
Um...
I threw it away.
What? Why?
Because, uh...
I'm a kleptomaniac.
Yeah.
I'm... I'm really ashamed of it,
and it's hard for me to admit it.
But when I look at the obelisk in my house,
I'm reminded of my problem.
So, I took it, and I buried it very, very...
Very far away.
So, it's gone.
Well, I guess, can you Venmo me like, $200 or something?
Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. I will... Sorry.
So, we'll make sure you get that,
but it was nice to see you, so...
Yeah. I'll send this over.
Always so good to see you, Agnes.
Also, did you guys break the doorknob, too?
No.
Well, if you didn't, I think someone may have
broken into the house.
- Why would you think that? - There was a body found, like,
right near my aunt's house in the woods.
The whole neighborhood is freaking out.
What if the killer was, like, inside the house?
That's so scary.
Do they know who did it?
No. They have no idea.
Have they identified the body yet?
I don't know. Wait, why are you asking so many questions?
Because murder makes people naturally curious, Agnes!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
I can't go to jail! You all know I'll die in jail!
They'll resent my bone structure,
sparkling personality, and kill me!
Guys, we are a really great team. Okay?
So, if we just put our minds together and think for a second,
we'll... we'll figure this out.
Dory.
Why am I getting the feeling that you're excited right now?
'Cause I feel like you want things to go bad
so you can go on one of your little adventures.
Are you serious? That's insane.
Dory, you dragged us into this mess for nothing!
Everything you thought about Chantal was made up!
And now look where we are! Look where you put us right now!
Okay, it is insane to me what you can talk yourself into.
I can't believe you're blaming this all on me,
as if I'm the only one who had anything to do with this!
- Wh... I... Because of you! - We're both at fault!
- We did it because of you! - Stop fighting right now! Stop!
Okay, what about Keith's daughter?
- She sent that text. - Yes, trust me.
They have no idea that we have
anything to do with any of this, okay?
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Why do you sound so sure?
Because I-I met Deb, and it... it's all fine.
Who's Deb?
Uh, De-Deb's Keith's... Keith's ex-wife.
You talked to the family of the man we killed?
Look, she found me, okay, and she interrogated me.
She asked me where Keith was, and I said I didn't know,
and... and... and... and now, it's fine.
Well, shit. Okay, so she knows he's gone.
No. She's not looking for him anymore.
No, no, no. You just said that she contacted you
to see where he was.
- That's looking for him! - Right, but she thinks he's okay now.
Why would she think that, Dory?
- Because of the e-mail. - What... What e-mail?
I sent an e-mail to her...
As Keith Powell.
Dory, no!
What on Earth?
No. No, no, no, no,
I know it seems stupid, but it was a smart idea.
Trust me. It was a smart thing to do.
I can't tell what's more incriminating...
the fact that you sent an e-mail from his computer
on the exact day that his ex-wife contacted you
or the fact that he's been dead way before you sent it!
Dory, it is so obvious that it wasn't him!
Okay, I didn't... I didn't think about....
That part.
You spent the entire day
accusing those people in Chappaqua of being our undoing,
and it turns out, you're our biggest threat.
What is wrong with you, Dory?
- Yeah, Dory! - God.
God, this scarf is so hot!
I'm burning up. I'm so Goddamn uncomfortable.
Elliott, are you okay?
- Oh, sweetie. Let me help. - Get away from me, Portia!
Hello, is anyone else hot?
- No. - No.
- Oh! - Oh!
Oh, my God!
- Elliott, what is that? - Does anyone have any ice?
I need ice!
I just need two to six bags of fresh ice, okay?
- And it must be fresh! - Elliott, you're scaring me.
Why are you guys all looking at me like
I'm some kind of freak?!
Cool way to treat your friend, guys!
Look, can everyone just trust that I need ice?
I'm gonna go get ice, and I'll be right back!
Ice!
I need ice!
Hello?
I need ice!
Hi, sir! I need some ice!
I need fresh ice!
- Synced and corrected by medvidecek007 - - www.addic7ed.com -